Floridians, welcome the vacationers, where the air is thick and the sun is blazing.

Understand… They not like us..

As a Resident your responsibilities are known, when friends from other areas visit they need to understand.. We will enjoy the sun and outdoors with you, but first… here’s the, “How to Florida” guide.

As we go in to the hot wet summer, we Floridians have a sixth sense for reading our unexpected weather. We learn to love daily showers and the occasional rainbows, even if it only rains in your front yard for five minutes while the backyard is dry and sunny. Lightning is not to be toyed with. Most summer rains you can play blissfully in and you should, just know the second you see a flash… beat it! Then the obvious on how to maneuver hurricanes, sun burns and heat stroke situations.

Remember, these aren’t the rivers and lakes that they’re used to… They don’t know a flag system for the water even exists. Let that sink in. They visit here and we assume they know the meaning of these random flags that are signaling the towns people. Like, who’s out there reporting red, yellow, green, purple, two flags or one. And who’s raising them down the line. It’s like Indians sending smoke signals, Vikings blowing a horn or Paul Revere and his candles, one if by land, two if by sea. Don’t forget the salt. The water has a taste, it burns your eyes, clears your skin, tossels your hair for the perfect beach look, makes you scratchy, makes your clothes crunchy, makes towels like sandpaper and fuels the soul. You may also have sand or seaweed in places unimaginable.

Side note: We also have the rivers and lakes that you’re used to. Lots of springs and water recreation all around. Maybe brush up on how to out maneuver a gator (not crocodile). You might as well search cockroaches, raccoons and sharks too.

If you are hauling friends or family to the beach, I hope you’re ready for a Ruck/CrossFit/Strongman style workout. Here in Panama City Florida, will be walking on the most beautiful soft white sand where your little piggies will dig in, wiggle and enjoy! For a more extreme workout, from the soft sand walking challenge, keep your shoes on. We will kick our shoes off the second we know that, where we are stepping will not burn and blister the bottom of our feet skin off. Just follow our lead. Meanwhile, for this workout, you’re doing a portion of it barefoot or in beach sandles or flip flops. All while carrying coolers, chairs, sunblock varieties, towels, sports balls, shovels, buckets, umbrellas, tents maybe even pulling or dragging a wagon through the sand. The wagon is stacked like the Grinch stealing all of Whoville, so that’s always a good time. Please hydrate and look at the flagpole nearest you. Pack baby powder.. IYKYK

The climate changes by the hour. So prepare for it all. From bathing suits to a light winter coat to rain gear. Between June and August we experience drought and monsoons simultaneously. It may rain 60 days straight, in some areas, while others 20 minutes away, receive none.

Sleeping in on vacation here can have some interruptions. Lawn services will line the streets. Homeowners are running their mowers and lawn equipment, sometimes 2/3 times a week. We prefer to work in the early hours around the sun. Also good walking hours if you’re trying to get some steps in. Sun down also works, but then you are being eaten alive by mosquitoes or have to listen to them when they like to buzz and hover right by your eardrum. They also like to fly into your eyes and mouth like a dogs butt, just to dial up some anger and anxiousness while you are humid and hot.

If you want to enjoy the outside.. If it’s not a screened in porch.. You may have to carry your own seat cushions to the patio furniture. The last group of people carried them inside when it started raining on them during a beautiful sunny day. Don’t rush to go inside, the locals will look up and stay seated if they know it’s a small cloud and a quick sprinkle passing through. You will know if it’s going to last when they ask you to grab your own seat and say, let’s go inside. Carry bug spray, a citronella plant or something… anything! If you’re lucky the mosquitos will help carry the cushions away, instead of you. They are brutal, most of us in the Panhandle or swampy areas in Florida have a few good repellent and itch cream options.

Hurricane season is a whole other topic. Listen for where the hurricane parties are going to be, make sure that it is a solid, structurally sound home, ensure you enjoy the group that you could be potentially stranded with. Maybe see if they have access to a generator or a satellite phone. Pay close attention to the Waffle Houses and they will guide you on when it becomes a state of emergency situation.

We have bowling, putt-putt, go carts, ax throwing, arcades, tourist shops, shopping centers and endless bars and restaurants when you are too sunburned to do another outdoor day.

Welcome to Florida: Please note that Miami, Disney, 30A and the Panhandle are wildly different regions in the country of Florida. Some of these rules may vary depending on the area that you visit.